22 thoughts

1. I don’t understand how a person could claim skydiving is insane while they drink and drive. (applies to promiscuous sex and drug use too!)

2. I don’t understand how a millionaire in a few years owe money.

3. Why is it that people say getting drunk once in awhile is good for you but never tell you about that one person in the group who dies of intoxication.

4. Why do people smoke cigarettes?

5. Why do we still use oil?

6. Is there enough metal on earth to build a futuristic city like in the movies?

7. Do you think in a million years the last man standing on earth will stand up and look around, and then announce, “gig!”

8. How could you prove that Jesus wasn’t an alien sent by other aliens and his talk about God was just the leader alien who created earth.

9. Could God turn a quadruple play in baseball?

10. Why is it if you use white out, you feel incompetent?

11. Why did God make it that if someone punches you, you FEEL like punching them back?

12. If you have a baby and baptize he/she, and you yourself is not baptized, will God separate mother from child in the afterlife?

13. Why are there exams scheduled at 8:30am?

14. Why is it that security will give you a hard time if you play counter-strike at an airport?

15. Why is it that I feel that in a slasher flick, the girl showering always has to die directly caused by her door being left wide open? Who does that?

16. Why is it that if someone writes a book bashing the Catholic Church no one complains, but if one of those books becomes a movie, it feels like Armageddon on every news media outlet.

17. I feel sorry for people who fail to kill themselves

18. Why is it that feeling hurt for awhile after a breakup can be equal to a quick paper cut to the finger.

19. We should not let gays and lesbians get a hold of a cloning device.

20. Why is it that when a white has a child with a black the kid is called black, and when a white has a child with an asian the kid is called asian, but if a white has a child with a white the kid is called American.

21. Why is that 4+4 years of education gets you no respect from nurses, assistants and patients.

22. Why do they make water with flavor?

Major Nelson's DS Lite Adventure

My Nintendo DS Lite

I was watching this story develop over at Joystiq earlier today when I got a hot tip via email from a blog reader that guess what? There was a store* in the Seattle area that broke the DS Lite street date as well, and they were selling them. He promptly game me the name and the address of the store. After work today, I decided to go on a little mission to see if I could walk away with a DS Lite a full 11–days before the official street date. After fighting with Seattle traffic for about 40–minutes, I arrived at the store…ready to go in for the kill. I walked into the store, and made my way towards the gaming/electronics section. Of course on a Tuesday night around dinner time, this place was kind dead to put it mildly. I wandered up to the video game case, and my heart sank as all I saw was a stack of Electric Blue DS’s. I frantically looked around the case and then just as I was about to give up hope…I saw it. Peeking out from below a stack of those Electric Blue units was a lone white case. Could it be? I crouched down…turned my head sideways to try and see if I was in luck. Sure enough, there it was in plain sight and in black and white on the side of the box: Nintendo DS Lite.

SCORE

Now, how to release it from this glass prison? I looked around for a sales person, but was only able to find a nice lady in an adjacent clothing department. I asked her if she could help me…she said no, but she would find someone. Now that I had found my prey, I was not about let it out of my site. Camping out at the glass case, I waited for the nice lady, or anyone to come help me.
So I waited.

60 seconds..
2–minutes.
4–minutes.
5–minutes

After about 8–minutes, a mid-20’s gentleman who clearly just finishing his dinner (hint: he was wiping his lips with a Subway napkin) wandered over and asked me if I’d like some help.

“Why yes, I’d like one of those” I said, pointing at the white box on the bottom of the stack. Either he was screwing with me or he was not watching my hand motions, but he grabbed one of the blue DS boxes and started to lock the case. “no no’ I said “I want that one…the white box.” Basically grabbing it out of the now unlocked case and handing it to him.

He took it and looked a the box, and then looked at me and said “wow, we’re selling a lot of these today, looks like you got the last one”

After paying the $129.00, I briskly walked out of the store and was on my way home with my shiny new Nintendo DS Lite.

Mission Accomplished.

To add a level of proof to my story, I posted some photos of my new toy next to my custom Xbox 360 hard drive to prove that yes, I really do have it in my hands.

Thanks to blog reader Mike who tipped me off, and thanks to the awfully nice store clerk who unwittingly sold me the embargoed unit.

Next: I need to get Reggie to sign it.

*To protect the retail establishment from getting in trouble, I am not going to say which store it was, but I will say that it a large chain store.

Back In Syracuse

I'm back to start my work on Tuesday.

But tomorrow I have to go buy some clothes to look pro.

Yes yes

extra Fly

Constant Weekly Clips

Starting this week, I will be make two weekly clips, startin Mondays. One will be The Rock funny of the Week and Gigg video of the week.

Here is the Rock Video of the Week